Reflections of a 1st-time Mom

The only thing better than having a baby sleep on your chest, is when he or she is your own!

These are the truly rewarding and precious moments in Mike’s and my life.  Here are a few of the thoughts I have had lately.

I love when I pick her up after a nap,  she recognizes my face andthen smiles.

It is funny to hear her load her diaper in the middle of church when Mike is holding her

Breastfeeding is an ingenious design because it forces me to sit and be present with my child.

There is nothing better than breastfeeding in bed, spooning her and feeling her little feet wiggle at my knees.

Breastfeeding is incredibly rewarding. I love the ability to sooth her instantaneously, to be able to feed her from my body and look down and see her. I have learned about how formula companies went into 3rd world countries and sold the poor on the idea of formula, when they knew they didn’t have the sanitation to sustain the practice. The illnesses that marketing campain produced was/is tragic. I feel like I am naturally such an advocate for breastfeeding, in the way that it feels so natural and healthy to me. Breastfeeding is proven to be so much healthier for the child and the mother. It is amazing the wisdom that the mother’s body knows, without the mother even thinking about it, her body produces exactly what the baby needs!  Last week Mike and I were really sick (Mike doesn’t get sick hardly ever), but eventhough we were coughing all the time Hannah never got sick. I was feeding her my antibodies through my milk.

Both Hannah and I seem more content when we get out in our day. It gives us variety and she loves the stroller…I am so glad.

I LOVE sleeping in next to my baby! Sometimes until 10am, sometimes until 1:00! I have not slept in that long since…I can’t remember when! What a great excuse to do it when you’ve got a little bundle snuggled up next to you! So I’m soaking it in!

People keep saying the time when they are small goes by so quickly so I’ve been trying to take in every step. I am grateful for this time, that I don’t have to work and can focus on my baby. I can’t imagine having to put her in day care and go back to work at 6 weeks! She was soooo small then. I am grateful I am able to stay home.

I resent that our culture has accepted no maternity pay and that women have to go back to work after 6 weeks. It is not healthy for the mother, nor the child. After seeing how content and happy both mothers and children were in Norway, I see why maternity leave is so important and it makes me mad the USA does not encourage that for their mothers….and fathers….and children. It seems we are breeding stressed-out families this way.

It seems my body trained me from the beginning. From when I was 2 months pregnant, I could not lay on my stomach to sleep and would have to get up every 3 hours to go to the bathroom. Now, with Hannah, my body is trained, and so is hers, we are both up every 3 hours to feed and I think I am less likely to roll on to my stomach when I’m sleeping next to her.

Mike and I feel very lucky because Hannah is such an easy baby. Anyone that knows me knows that I very much dislike being woken up if I am sleeping. So, I feel very grateful that Hannah is a quiet baby. She just makes little grunts to tell me she needs to feed in the night and once I feed her, she is back asleep. Very little crying in the night. I know, we are very lucky and appreciating every moment of it!!!

I feel like Hannah is my tag along. Granted I move alot slower with her but I like her company. I knew it would be like this before we had kids; that she would be with me wherever I went. I’m glad I like seeing her in the grocery cart, or next to me in the car, and with me wherever I am. I love her company.

The song that always comes to my head when I think of singing Hannah as song is a hymn called ” Far, far Away on Judea’s Plains.” I think it comes to my mind because of the chorus ” Glory to God, Glory to God in the highest; Peace on earth goodwill to men; Peace on earth, good-will to men!” I think as a new mother I have a heightened sensitivity to the desire for peace on this earth. I want my baby to experience peace and happiness, not war and struggle. I think that the chorus also echoes my feelings of wanting to give glory to God. Having a perfect baby is truly a miracle to rejoice over!

I love hearing her animal sounds. Each day she makes different sounds. One day she will sound like a grunting pig, another a naying horse, the next a cooing dove. I feel like I call her the name of a different animal almost every day. She is so cute! She especially makes these noises as she is trying to wake herself up from sleep.

Some things that are unique to our Hannah are: her toes, her wide-mouth smile and her pinkies. Let me explain… her big toe is further away from the other toes than normal. She has such a big gap there that I can fit any of my fingers between her big and pointer toe, with no problem. They look a little like monkey’s toes to tell the truth, but we think they are just cute.  The way she often has her pinky finger out whenever she is moving her hands around is very characteristic of her Grandmother Crystal. Another thing Hannah always does is sticks both arms straight up in the air and splays all of her fingers out whenever we pick her up. It’s like she’s saying yeah! each time but really she’s just stretching her back out.

Nick-names we have made for our Hannah are: Sweet Pea, Hannah baby, Child of mine, Joy bug, Turtle, Sweets, Little Bird, Bupa, Cutes, Bundle of Joy, Super Baby, and Sunshine.

It is really fun to see Mike’s excitement to show her the world. He wants her to see the trees and see what he sees. He also often says things like ” You love camping don’t you Hannah!” or “When you’re older you’ll ask me what you were like when you were a baby and I’ll tell you….” I also like explaining to her that it is the wind or the sun that she is feeling on her face and I look forward to her increasing curiosity for the beauties of this world. That’s a WE.

When I was birthing Hannah I remember feeling angry that this baby was causing me so much pain. I was literally angry at her. Now, I know she didn’t mean the pain Now when she smiles , cooes at me and blinks her eyes extra slow, I can’t help but have my heart melt. One day when I was crying, I swear she had a look of concern on her face, as if to say “it will be ok mommy…won’t it?” it made me smile and resolve that it would be.

People say you can’t describe the feelings you’ll have as a first time Mom. But, ever since the first time I heard that, before I had my baby, I resolved to try to describe it. I guess this blog entry, (written at 10:30 at night, because that is the only time I feel I can get and hour in with 2 hands free to write!) is my attempt to put into words this very intense and rewarding experience called being a Mom for the first time.